Why Fear is the Forebearer of Courage

I love words. Words and language fascinate me. We use words every day and assume the other person hearing or reading them is taking away the same meaning from them that we are (though often, this is not the case!) which is exactly why I care so much about defining a term as clearly as possible. 

When I look up “courageous” in the dictionary, it gives one of those definitions that makes me laugh:

Adjective: “Possessing or characterized by courage”
Really!?  That doesn’t tell me much. Let’s check out the noun:

Courage (noun): “the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty without fear” 

I like the first part, but “without fear?” Sorry, Mr. Webster. I beg to differ.  

If being “courageous” means to “not be afraid” then I would have zero chance of being courageous! I was absolutely afraid of flopping the interview for that new job after being laid off and unemployed for six months with a mortgage to pay on my new townhome. I was still afraid when I chose to admit I didn’t understand what my manager was asking for in our first meetings when I started the new job. I was desperately afraid I’d never work again when I decided to resign from the ranks of a corporate executive role to become a full-time mom. And I was sick-to-my-stomach afraid that my startup pitch wouldn’t be good enough to land funding. 

Courage isn’t facing difficulty without fear. Courage is the strength of spirit to do something in spite of fear. 

Courage and fear are like two-sides of the same coin that you flip and keep flipping until it lands right-side up on courage. Things can always go wrong, and failure is one possibility, but deciding it’s still worth it to press forward and finding the “why” that is bigger than the “what” will allow you to transform the fear into courage.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” - Winston S. Churchill

I love these Courageous Change moments from my clients that inspire me in my work:

“Showing my teenage girls that their mom has a gift of writing she can use to impact social justice gives me the courage to click ‘send’ on an article that I hope will get published.”

“Giving my kids the stability of staying in our house after getting divorced gives me the courage to figure out what job uses my innate skills and which ones to go to junior college to acquire–as a 47 year old student.”

“Deciding I can no longer keep showing up to a job where my manager does not allow me to use and grow my abilities gave me the courage to switch paths to be an entrepreneur.”

Courageous Change takes Clarity: of your values, your vision, your identity and your purpose. It takes Belief: In yourself, your ability to make an impact, and the necessity of you doing so. And it takes Action: not just any action, but specific and consistent action that actually gets the result you want. Every time you are courageous, you not only give a gift to yourself, but to those around you, because your courage will undoubtedly be the catalyst for others to do the same. 

So the next time you feel afraid of making a change, realize you’re simply on the edge of doing something truly courageous, and what lies on the other side of that fear will be worth getting a little uncomfortable for. 

What Courageous Change is waiting for you to say “Yes!”? I’d love to hear about it and see how you can get from where you are, to where you want to be. Let’s connect.