There is No *One* Right Life

When I was 16, I read a quote in a travel magazine that felt like a sucker punch to the gut and I’ve never forgotten it. “You only live once, but if you live right, once is enough.” I turned the page looking for the rest of the article. Nothing. You’re kidding me! It was a total cliff hanger with no further explanation as to what living “right” actually meant. As a teenager, I absolutely wanted to do everything “right” but that usually meant a teacher defining it for me first, and me doing what I needed to do to achieve it. 

This was different. 

Attending college in the dotcom boom of Silicon Valley, it would appear from the student parking lot and conversations in the cafeteria that having a new BMW and a second home in Lake Tahoe must be sure signs of living “right.” But coming from a family where both parents were teachers, there was definitely a gap between my reality and that definition which I decided I could close by getting straight A’s, and working a big tech company internship.

After graduation I continued to test out different theories of what living “right” meant. Maybe it meant getting invited to really cool parties and working 60 hour weeks at a startup. Or maybe it was climbing the ranks to be a corporate executive with a significant six figure salary. Could living “right” mean getting married, having a big house with a pool, 2.5 kids (I rounded up), and a labradoodle? Check. Check. Check. Check. But how come the picture on the outside didn’t always come with the peace, contentment, energy and fulfillment I was expecting on the inside? 

Don’t get me wrong. Each of these things has brought a certain level of happiness (except the 60 hour work weeks) and I am a very fortunate person for sure!  But ultimately the joy that was gained was never about what I could write on paper, or sum up in a holiday card complete with family photoshoot. To “live right” I would have to grow and learn and dig a whole lot deeper than the surface level definition I thought I could just find in some kind of google search. (More on that in the coming weeks, on the blog– be sure to subscribe)

Ultimately I have learned that living right isn’t about what’s on the outside, and it isn’t something anyone else can grant you or congratulate you for. Because there is no one “right” life that gets written in stone that will last one person their 100 year journey. Living “right” is a practice of becoming, of discovering, and being your most authentic self, of doing work that uses your gifts and talents toward a purpose you believe in, and ultimately creating a life that flows from your values and priorities. And it changes over time, right along with you! 

My “right” life has included living in a 2 bedroom flat in San Francisco with 4 roommates working for little money just to enjoy the travel benefits, working at fast-paced startups that I believed in, being in a relationship, being single, working part-time while parenting, momming full-time, founding a startup, having zero income and exploring volunteer work and creative passions, and finally diving in heart-first to my coaching passions. I have experienced living “right” in my 1987 Honda Civic singing at the top of my lungs to Erasure while cruising to SoCal (circa 1995). I have experienced “living right” while soaking up a sweet six month maternity leave with my newborn daughter (2008). And I have felt that “living right” feeling deep in my soul when I heard a client’s newfound confidence on a coaching call after she landed an amazing job following a decade out of the workforce (2018), and so many more moments that told me I was living in alignment with my values, priorities, purpose and identity, for where I was at that time, on my journey.  

See, we aren’t static beings, despite our desire to lock in our existence and set it on a shelf to admire, or bury it away if we deem it a failure. To live “right” is to be willing to grow and find a depth of meaning and fulfillment that comes with unfolding our unique and incredible potential, and cheering each other on in our journeys. Only you know your journey, and you get to continually grow and change to create any self, work, and life you want. I know because I’m doing it and I’ve helped others do it too.  

It’s what I now recognize as Authentic Alignment, and after 20+ years of experience and application, I realize it is formed through cycles of Courageous Change™ that anyone with an open mind and a willing spirit can do. It’s what I live and teach, learn and guide others to do each day in order to find their own definition of living “right” and I am humbled and overjoyed to do it!

What Courageous Change is in store for you? 

I’d love to hear about it and see how I can help you get from where you are, to where you want to be (literally, or figuratively speaking)!

It’s time to say “Yes!” to that little voice of possibility. It’s closer than you think.